Hi friends! Welcome back to the Blog!

Today’s blog is short and sweet, and here is the message I want to share with you:

You don’t need anyone’s permission to make your own decisions in life.

Nilo Burke

This is very important to hear, think about often and truly KNOW deep down. Women are socialized to always ask for permission, to be polite, to wait for an answer, to say “Please & Thank you” before they’ve even asked for the thing they want. They walk into the room quietly and politely. They look around to see where there might be a little bit of space to sit and pick a corner where they may not be too visible. (This is especially true for women who tell themselves that they have a weight issue.)

There is a small percentage of women who do not fall in the above category, but curiously, the majority of women do fit the above description.

Here is what to do:

1. Have confidence in yourself that you are making an educated decision, and have trust in your ability to make that decision.
2. You are WORTHY all on on your own. You do not need to permission to make decision to determine your worth.
3. No decision is a bad decision. The results of your actions are just a fact. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t. That’s life. That’s NOT because you, a woman, made a decision and it didn’t work out. (No, I am not asking you to go rob a bank. That’s a bad decision. We’ve agreed on that as a society. Don’t make those types of decisions.) #4 is important.
4. HAVE YOUR OWN BACK. You’ve got to have your own back when you make a decision and the results are not meeting your expectations. You’ve got to stand by your decision and keep going. Keep making future decisions. Even if you failed the first five times.

Let me elaborate a bit on #4. Society does not treat men the same way it treats women when a decision is met with undesirable results. As a woman, I’ve comforted the men in my life when their decisions don’t turn out as they thought they would. They become angry and frustrated. I’ve stopped to make them feel better and give them a shoulder to cry on.

I have also been on the other side when my decisions have turned out so well. I’ve been chastised and sort of judged by the men in my life. “I don’t think you should do things you aren’t 100% sure about.” “Maybe do something that’s a bit more realistic in the future.” “Well, now you know. Don’t say I didn’t tell you.”

My point is: Make your own decisions. Don’t ask for any MOFO’s permission and have your own back when things don’t go the way YOU wanted them to go. No one else’s opinion matters. As a Christian woman, the only opinion that matters to me is God’s. Ask Spirit to guide you. Ask the deity you worship to guide you.

Do not wait for the world to give you permission to move forward in your life.

XX,

Nilo